The World is Full of Beautiful and Interesting People

I am loaded with all kinds of superhero powers, the problem being that none of them lead to good superhero names. I will highlight here two of my incredible abilities.

1. My friend T (above, eating a piece of bark he insisted looked like a panther. It kinda did) recently developed type I diabetes, aka juvenile diabetes, the kind where you get to inject yourself with insulin all the time and not the kind you get from being fat and never exercising. Being that he's 31, and most type I diabetics get it when they're kids, I guess he's just lucky. Anyway, being newly diabetic he's having to learn how to control his blood glucose levels, which looks like no simple task. As such, he has to check his blood sugar every 30 min or so. The levels go craziest after he eats a meal, and so he tries to estimate how much insulin he'll need to take before eating, (incidently, a Culver's small chocolate malt contains 96 g of sugar, in case you need to know), and then checks a lot after eating to make sure he guessed right and tries to correct any over- or under-shooting he did.

In the car on the way home from climbing/Culver's, we twice took polls on what the little blood glucose machine was gonna say. Normal levels are between 80-120 mg/dL (or 70-150 mg/dL, according to Wikipedia), and I guessed 180 immediately after leaving Culver's. The machine said: 188. About a half hour later, I guessed 150 and the machine, which probably has an error in readings of +/- 5 anyway, said 153. Apparently I am hella good at predicting a diabetic's blood glucose levels. It's probably easier to cart around the little machine rather than me all day long, but I'm pretty impressed with this newfound ability. Too bad it has never helped me out in guessing how many jellybeans are in a jar. I have never won one of those damn sugar-prediction contests, even when I use complicated engineering equations to arrive at my estimate. Perhaps I just needed to trust my instinct. I will call myself Blood Glucose Estimation Girl?

2. Last weekend I lost my sunglasses (above). I do this pretty much every weekend (this weekend they were in the top of my climbing pack even though I completely emptied it 4 times looking for them). It's particularly annoying because they are the clip-on kind, specifically fit to my prescription glasses and I can't easily wear something else. (Aside: I'm thinking about getting contacts again mostly so that I can have multiple pairs of sunglasses). Getting back to the story, I very specifically remembered coming into the house on Saturday after getting back from climbing at the lake. I was carrying lots of heavy gear that I plopped down inside the front door. My roommate's cats, who I was feeding while he was gone for the weekend, were wrapping around my legs and doing all they could to get my attention. So, with my sunglasses still on, I fed the cats and then went about my business.

Next day, the sunglasses are nowhere to be found. They must be in the house somewhere because I crashed after climbing and did not leave the house for the rest of the night. I looked everywhere but couldn't find them. My roommate, D, suggested I look in my truck, Big Red. I stated that they could not possibly be in the truck because I hadn't been in it since I'd last had the sunglasses. I was 100% sure. I offered to bet him $5, but he didn't take me up on it. The bet is the key detail. Later that night I drove somewhere and sure enough, the sunglasses were in the truck. This is a common occurrence with me. The instant I am 100% sure about something and willing to make a bet on it, it is guaranteed that I am wrong. El señor B has won many a bet this way. I thought it was just bad luck to bet against him, but nope, it is my special ability to change the universe by being absolutely certain about something. Those sunglasses were not actually in my truck until I proffered that bet. The big quantum machine heard "I'll betcha five dolla..." come out of my mouth and POOF!, a highly improbable (but still allowed by string theory) event. Of course, later I remembered that my earlier remembrance about feeding the cats with my sunglasses still on actually happened on Friday night when I got home from work. Still, I am Ironic Improbability Shouldn't Gamble Lady.

long weekend

Today I am tired, sore, and distinctly unmotivated. To elaborate:

SORE. Went climbing at Necedah yesterday with I, D and T. Now. If there are 2 things a climber generally wants to have with her whilst climbing, they would be her climbing shoes and her harness. Three guesses on which two things I forgot to take with me yesterday. Lovely. And they're giving me a fucking PhD in a week. About time, because the longer I'm a graduate student, the dumber I get. Borrowed D's harness (too big) and shoes (Oh god, with the Evolv-stink and all) and got in 3 seconds/top-ropes. After making such a dumb mistake, figured leading probably wasn't the best of ideas. But it was a gorgeous day, and the last climb was fan-fucking-tastic, although I pulled my left shoulder on it. Thus the sore.

TIRED. Went to bed last night 1am-ish, but since today is a holiday I slept in 'til 11am or so. Still tired, though. I need a good week of 10h sleeps. Not likely to happen this week, but I've got some vacation after my PhD so perhaps I'll use those smarts to keep my ass in bed.

UNMOTIVATED. I should be preparing my thesis defense presentation RIGHT NOW. That's why I rode the 30 min bicycle ride into work on a holiday. It should be pretty obvious to you, the reader, that I am currently not even working on my slides, unless I decide to put my blog in the presentation. I've got a feeling my committee would not be amused. Seriously, though, I need to pound something out in the next two hours. Maybe I'll have a snack first.



FINALLY. A picture of liquid crystals I took last week at work. Because it would feel weird not to share a picture in a post. This one has no scientific significance whatsoever, I just thought it was pretty. Damn hard to get good depth of field at 50x magnification, though.

Ah, the friendship question

So there is someone I've...fallen out of good graces with, but I would maybe like for us to be friends again. Not now-good lord, not now-but someday in the distant future (i.e. years from now) it might be possible. I miss this person, but I'm not sure exactly what it is that I want from this person in friendship. I've gotta figure it out and I spend no small amount of time thinking about it, lemme tell ya. Also, I feel something of a desire to punish said person, not necessarily because punishment is deserved but because I got hurt and I want retribution. Not a sentiment I'm particularly proud of, but there it is. Anyway, my fantastic friend B did a tarot card reading for me on this problem. It gave me another way to look at my problem, even if "fortune telling" is a load of hooey. I liked it so much, I'm a-gonna share it with you, with identifying details altered, of course. Also: a picture! of me! Because I like to post them and am just the teensiest bit vain and self-interested and on this space, it's my choice.

Added much much later: Nope, not gonna happen. I agree with el senor B: a lot of times, the friendship thing just doesn't work out. Things aren't on an even footing anymore, subjects of conversation are taboo, or maybe total forgiveness won't ever be forthcoming. For whatever reason, I just don't think it's in the cards (pun intended).

The present situation is governed by the Two of Pentacles, which indicates flexibility. It also can mean having fun, or juggling something. As I think about this a bit more, I think this is about the “fun” side of things. While I’m fairly certain that your first interactions with each other will be anything but fun, I think that the idea of being friends again encompasses a desire to recapture some of the flavor of your interactions with each other in the past. You would like to have fun with each other in the future, correct? The present is opposed by the Wheel of Fortune. This card is a major archetype, and such cards carry a heavier weight than the suit cards (i.e. PAY ATTENTION). The Wheel means seeing yourself as part of a larger fabric, embracing cycles—beginnings and endings, and finding your place in the world, thus having a larger perspective outside of yourself. The root of the issue is described by Judgment, another major archetype. It shows that difficult choices have to be made and stuck with. It could also mean making a fresh start.

The past is defined by the Two of Swords. This is a card I’ve seen about myself in relation to [somebody], also with regard the past. For me, it means purposefully blinding yourself to the truth, which I did plenty of with him! Also, it can mean a calm, collected exterior covering inner turmoil, a very delicate balancing act. This is also something I did a lot of! This is something that should probably be discarded. The immediate future is defined by the Hierophant, another major archetype. I’m not really sure what to make of this card. It indicates a high degree of structure and tradition in a group sense. In fact, the card has a picture of a papal figure on it. The best I can think of is that you guys will have to find your own identities as a part of a larger group. You are no longer [you] and [person of interest], you need to find your own place in a group without each other. Your conscious influences right now are the Three of Wands. This involves taking a step back to gain perspective. It echoes The Wheel of Fortune in this way.

The self is depicted in the Eight of Cups. This card indicates letting go of something to start over, often a relationship. It’s pretty clear that each of you are letting go of the other. The way you two fit into the outside world is the Five of Swords. This could stand for how others see your situation, perhaps how one of you views the other now. This card is all about taking care of yourself, thinking of your own needs above someone else’s, and looking out for your own interests.

The guide for how to proceed is the Ace of Cups. It tells you to be open and loving (NOT ROMANTICALLY). You need to know your own heart in this matter. It also indicates forgiveness. This can mean forgiving yourself, or someone else, or both.

The last card tells of the future. It is the Emperor. The Emperor embodies leadership, having a plan, structure, and following rules. I think that if the time comes to pursue friendship, careful plans and rules must be made and adhered to in order to protect both of you.

Oh, the music

Today is a dreary day. One of those days where even with the blinds open there's not enough light in my room for me to wake up properly. On top of that, lots of thoughts today about relationships and myself and general introspective crap that I probably couldn't convey accurately if I tried. Also, the great beast PMS is rearing her ugly head, as much as I am loath to admit it. But I was scrolling through my i-pod (yes, yes, fuck you) on the bus per usual this morning and made two serendipitous choices. First, Kickball's 2005 album ABCDEFGHIJKickball. It's spazzy and playful and bright and never fails to make me feel ABCDEFGood. Second, Kylesa's 2006 album Time Will Fuse Its Worth. It's dark and loud and sludgy stoner metal that also never fails to lighten up my mood, which may seem odd to some but there's just such passion in both of these albums that it makes my chest ache at the beauty of it.

My roommate and I were having a discussion last night about how little things (like the music one chooses to listen to on the bus into work, say) can totally affect the day you're having. He thought it was sad, maybe even pathetic, that some tiny, insignificant-by-most-people's-standards event made good what had previously been a crappy day for him. I dunno, maybe I'm easy to please. But I think it's the aggregate of all the small good things that make my life what it is: pretty fucking awesome, in general. I've observed that when I've had sad/depressive periods in my life, they've been coincident to times when I quit noticing how the sunlight and shadows fall across my bedroom floor, or how the leaf on a houseplant changes color as it unfurls, or how nice the breeze is on the porch, or how a cheese tastes different when it's straight outta the fridge versus sitting on the plate for an hour. I don't know if the mood causes the inattentiveness, or if it's the other way around, but there's a relationship there, for sure. Life lesson: pay attention to the beautiful.

Not-Winter is here?

It can be hard to tell in Wisconsin when the warm weather has arrived for good. The winter here is SO long and SO nasty that I kind of forget every year exactly what the other season is like, which is: awesome. Our yard is just gorgeous. The previous owner was a botanist and all we've had to do so far is marvel at all the plants that come up. I finally got around to re-potting a bunch of my indoor plants and setting them up in my room, where the kitties can't eat and then puke them up. I also got a red cyclamen on our trip to the garden center with A. Cyclamen will always remind me of Melbourne, because a bright pink cyclamen, in addition to a bright pink elephant window cling, was all I had for decoration in my room while I was there. They make me think of the Queen Victoria Market that was a few blocks from the Graduate House where I stayed, and choosing cheeses and pestos with N there on the weekends. It was good times. If I could move my whole family to Australia, I'd move there permanently. Besides viewing the plant/house pictures, I'm also going to let you ponder a long-held debate between N and I: in a fight to the death, who would win? N sez kangaroo. I sez emu. Also, this leaves no doubt about my felicitous decision to follow engineering rather than art.

30th birthday present

Yup, I got one for myself. I am a total needle-phobe, and it takes me several years to gather up the ovaries to get each new one. But this is my 3rd (the previous two accomplished for my 18th and 26th birthdays) and I have to say it gets a teensy bit easier every time.

Here's where I give big ups: To el señor B for holding my hand the entire time-and I don't care what he says, I squeezed hard-and for taking care of me the rest of the night. To J the V for bringing me some strong Quebecois beer (I'm pretty sure it was the first time I've ever used the phrase "beer me" in my life) and squeezing my foot occasionally when I grimaced, which was funny but appreciated. To Brian at Capital City Tattoo for being an incredible artist, fast, and a generally awesome dude (note here that I will identify him because I think any and all people in WI considering getting a tattoo should take their business thataways). And thanks to all 3 of those rawkin' dudes for providing pleasant chatter that I zoned in on every now and then as a distraction, and for not making too much fun of me the one time I had to take a break to put my head between my knees.

Maybe, if the ease of doing this keeps improving, I will turn it into a half sleeve by my 60th birthday. We'll see.