At one point this morning I was standing on the fucking pedals, in first fucking gear, on the fucking flats - and I almost fell over because I was barely crawling along.
I began to entertain fantasies of turning around and going home, but I have a meeting with my big boss this afternoon so it was not a truly viable option.
Then every time a cyclist passed me in the opposite direction (i.e. with the wind), I imagined that I would turn around, catch up with them, and push them over. But I couldn't figure out how to do it without crashing myself.
I screamed at pedestrians. Twice. "MOVE!" and "MOVE YOU FAT FUCK!" Right before that last one, I was pedaling in first gear - downhill this time - and once again nearly fell over due to lack of forward motion. I'm thinking about carrying rocks in my basket to pelt at pedestrians who cross against the light directly in my way. But again, I'm not sure I could throw something without causing myself to crash. Also, I'd probably feel bad later about actually hurting someone. Maybe eggs instead.
I probably shouldn't bike on windy days.
The one cool part was when a big gust came from the side and just shifted my bike over about two feet. It was neat. It would not have been neat had a car been anywhere near me, but I guess I got lucky on that count. No, wait, there was a second plus: it was so warm I didn't even have to wear a jacket with the amount of effort I was putting out.
Here's hoping the wind doesn't shift 180˚ (like it usually does) before my ride home tonight. Birthday party news and pics up soon!
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5 comments:
Ha hah ha hah.
There is no subset of the population that hates a stiff headwind like cyclists.
We can get you some aerobars a skinsuit for the morning commutes. You'll be able to cheat the wind a little more that way.
Hey, what about those NASA suits the swimmers are wearing? Would they work for cyclists?
Whoa! That sounds shitty. But you will fly home if the wind does not shift, and that will probably be fucking fun.
I wish the wind had done a 180 yesterday, but it sure as hell didn't. My first time riding a bike in 6 months, still jet-lagged, and I rode home in a fierce headwind the whole way. Then I had to climb that God-forsaken hill on Midtown. My legs are still crying, and I took the damn bus today.
Maybe I'll get a skinsuit.
Rob, I'll give you a skinsuit if you wear it.
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